Simply Bret

When I was in Third Grade, I had a crush on my teacher, Mrs. Wilhelmina Wright. In my little mind, Mrs. Wright was “just right” for me—pardon the pun. Even though I knew that nothing would develop from this harmless little crush, Mrs. Wright was still cute to me. One day, she told me that the girl of my dreams was right around the corner, and being a naïve little child, I thought that this girl was around a particular corner. The more Mrs. Wright spoke about this dreamgirl, the more I anticipated the day that I would finally meet her. I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would run into this gal in college—literally. Susan Ariel Gosinheimer was her name; she stood 5’8” with long, flowing honey blonde hair and gorgeous crystal blue eyes. She was born and raised in New York City, but much like me, she left her hometown and accepted admission to South Carolina University. When she debuted as a freshman, I was entering my junior year, and Jack was already graduated. To this very day, Susan and I laugh about the first day we met on the South Cacka-Lacky campus—in more ways than one, mind you. I had to attend a mandatory assembly after my Statistics class, and I was in such a rush not to be late that I started running. Unfortunately, I ran too fast and I tripped. Of all the things to break my fall, it had to have been a swinging door. Apparently, Susie (as she is fondly called) opened the door, where it swung outward, and I crashed right into it. The door swung back right into Susie, knocking her into a wall. Ever the altruistic gentleman, I helped the young lady up and asked her if she was okay, to which she responded, “Oh, I’m fine, considering this is the story of my life. I’m always walking into walls and things.” Susie had a sense of humor, and I liked it. After the impromptu head-on meeting, we got to know each other on a first name basis. I’ll never forget her cute intro: “Nice to meet you, Bret. I’m Susie Gosinheimer—well, actually, it’s Susan, but you can call me Susie.” I noticed the look in her eyes as she said that. I thought that she was still a little dazed from colliding with the door and the wall. I never expected her to fall for me like she did. Admittedly, I thought that Susie was “the bee’s knees” when I first laid eyes on her, but I remembered what my brother Bob taught me—to play it cool when it comes to the ladies. There was a big problem, though—at least in Susie’s mind, anyway. While Susie and I were getting to know each other, Mary Ann called my name out rather loudly, and I naturally responded; after all, we were friends. Mary Ann told me how I made her day by showing up at this particular assembly because she was scheduled to give a speech on behalf of her sorority. “I’m a little nervous, though,” Mary Ann stated, to which I caught her by the hand and told her that it’s natural to be nervous, but she would still do a great job. Mary Ann thanked me for the encouraging words and kissed me on the cheek, then went on her way. Upon seeing this, Susie looked at me and said, “Well, it was nice talking to you. I guess I’d better get going.” I thought nothing of it and said, “Okey-Dokey.”