Nevermind

Can it be possible? A man living in Manhattan who doesn't know how to spend money? Is it believable at all? I don't believe it and I'm writing it. But, there it is, still on the page. Like so many other details that have been edited by my hand, I could've changed it. But, I didn't. And now, I'm asking myself, "Who the hell is this guy, Frank Teeman?" I'm reading his story and I'm writing his story. Sometimes these bits come down the cosmic telegraph and I stop and say, "No way." The telegraph replies, "Yes." So, it seems, that Frank Teeman is an unusual character. Maybe he's crazy. I mean, what's all that stuff about "soaking up the energy"? Sounds like a crazy man. But, even if he is, he's paying his bills and he's not bothering anyone. He's never been arrested. He's never even conversed with a police officer. So, maybe he's not crazy. Maybe he's just emotionally disturbed. It doesn't seem like he's dealt with the death of his parents or the fact that he's adopted. So, maybe he's hiding. It's easy to hide in Manhattan. Not physically hide, but, hide your true self behind the facade of a person. Frank doesn't seem to be hiding anything. Anyone who asks gets the real Frank. He admits to being from Kansas and talks of his adoption and mourns the loss of his parents. So, maybe there's nothing unusual about him. Still, I have a hard time with the money thing. In a day when multi-million dollar lottery winners blow everything in a year and two million people file for bankruptcy and millions of others get overdue notices from creditors, how can this man, who has relatively nothing, not be overwhelmed with desire when presented with some spending money? That's the big stumbling block. I can see wanting to hold on to your cash once you've got a little, but not to be tempted to blow it on every passing whim? That, for me, is what makes Frank unusual. OK, granted, he did buy a couple things. That's something. But it's more like paying a bill. You get a notice, and to continue service, you send in your payment. Or you blow it off! When service is disconnected, though, you march right down to the office and pay up so that you can keep your food from spoiling. Well, Frank's music service had been interrupted and buying that tape deck was more an effort to maintain status quo than a venture into the delights of materialism. Same with the boots. Frank doesn't seem to have wondered the path of frivolous spending. "If I won the lottery, I'd buy a Ferrari …” We’ve all heard it. People dream about that kind of cash surplus all the time. For most it's the only motivating force in their lives. For the rest it's a major motivating factor. For Frank it's far down the list. It's not like he's anti. He admits to coveting wealth and he knows that spending is pleasurable. It's just far down the list. How unusual is that? And what about companionship? That one seems to be pretty far down Frank's list, too. There's a lot of lonely people out there. Frank doesn't seem to be one. He does lead an isolated existence. Does that make him lonely? Most of us would assume so. Frank has his relationships. He has Mary and Brian and the McGarretys and now Jack. For him that is enough. If he were lonely he might try to buy new friends with his cash. That's what Jack said to do. Even though Frank agreed, he wasn't that thrilled with the idea. Frank's got his own methods of coping with loneliness. One of them is painting people. There's not a lot of companionship there, but it does serve to keep him in touch with humanity. His other coping mechanism is "soaking up the energy". I don't know what the hell that is all about. Frank admits to it being a cure for his loneliness. So, the McGarretys and Brian and Ralph and Mary satisfy Frank's need for one on one interaction and "the energy" gives him that connection with humanity that we all need. Painting gives him the opportunity to make new acquaintances. Actually, the people Frank meets in day to day living, like the guy at the art store and the bartenders at the various places he frequents and even Red, become part of the people Frank paints. He always tries to get a feeling for the character of the person in his paintings and through that investigation he comes to understand individuals. All that may satisfy his cerebral needs for human contact, but what does it do for his sexuality? No matter how much you think about doing it, there's no substitute for sex. It doesn't seem like Frank's getting a lot, and that in and of itself is not unusual, as a matter of fact it's probably pretty normal, but Frank doesn't seem obsessed with getting some. Again, he's not anti, when Jack suggests doing the meat market thing Frank realizes it's a good idea and he remembers sex as pleasurable, but it didn't occur to him first. It's just far down his list of priorities. That's unusual. There are plenty of men, mostly priests, who renounce sex. They do it by choice. Maybe Frank is a religious man. Even the most dedicated talk of resisting temptations of the flesh. Through a conscious effort they sublimate their desires. They have eliminated sex from their list of priorities. This is what makes Frank unusual. Sex is something that he's open to, but not actively pursuing. OK, even that is not so unusual for practicers of certain religious faiths. So, maybe Frank is a religious man. He hasn't mentioned any particular faith, still material wealth and sex are far down his list of priorities, I think. Maybe Frank is an ethical man. You know, the kind who thinks about morals and morality and then shapes his life to fit his perception of what is right. Not necessarily a religious man. Religious men often follow. Frank is not following. He's not leading, either. He's not following so he's not a religious man. But he could still be an ethical man. He doesn't seem to be obsessed with doing what's right. And there's the whole drug and alcohol thing. He talks of pot as if it were candy. And alcohol? A daily occurrence. This hardly sounds like an ethical man. What do you call a man who glazes over the physical pleasures of sex and the temporal comforts of wealth, but doesn't mind getting high on drugs and alcohol or owning a stereo system? Unusual. That's what I'd call him. Being unusual is not a bad thing, necessarily. There are probably thousands of people who fit into that category and thousands of others who are trying to fit into that category. I'm trying to say that Frank Teeman is unusual above and beyond those purveyors of angular haircuts and bright clothes. He is also unusual amongst the extremists of the right. So, Frank is unusual in a more universal way. What does that make him? Usual? Normal? Yup. I guess that's it. Frank's just a normal guy. He's got his vices and he's got his virtues. That's normal.