Corporate.pdf or How I Stopped and Fell Flat in Love with a Copy Machine

About the Book

Corporate.pdf leaves you hanging on the edge of your toilet. Of course, those are my words, the words of the author, but what do others have to say about the book? "Yes, I liked the book Jeffrey, now clean the dishes," raved Sandra Horton, my mother. "I can't believe anybody in our family can write this good," is an honest to goodness quote from Grandma Wilma Horton. And Uncle Bob Bentz called the book "riveting, I couldn't wait to turn the page."

Sure, my family loves me, but what about my friends? Big Mike Leonard was heard somewhere in Germany saying the book was "so descriptive you could smell the bird poop." Darron Vigliotti, not only a friend but a highly respected member of the Stratford High Book Review, deemed it "the culture-bearing work of the MTV generation." He even went as far as saying that I "crafted" the book. My former roommate, Kristen Vernet, said "It's about damn time," in an astounded tone. I think she's just glad she doesn't live with me anymore. And Erin Specht, a current coworker, read the first thirty pages but couldn't handle the pressure of coming up with a quote about it in two minutes. I can personally assure you that she hugely anticipates reading the rest of the book. Now you, you don't know me, but that's the point. Read the book and make up your own mind. If you enjoy laughing, crying, and taking dumps then you'll love it.

About the Author

Jeff Horton (me in third person) has been swallowed by a copy machine. He once resided in Connecticut, once in Maryland and once in Arizona. Now he lives in a toner bottle. He dreams of breaking out of this toner bottle and destroying all your views of fiction.