cocaine the death of dreams
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The words within this book are based on the true story of one man’s struggle to free his two small children from their cocaine-addicted mother. The names, locations, and dates have been changed to protect individual identities. Due to the subject matter of this book some readers may find parts of this work offensive. This book is not intended for children or the faint-of-heart!
This book and its contents are protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. It is the expressed hope of the author that this most important amendment be recognized. Many of the poems and prose written within this book are based on the author’s opinion.
If you do not believe in freedom of speech or the First Amendment do not read this book!
This is not a work of fiction, although I wish it had been. The material within this book was born out of anger, fear, disgust, despair, frustration, sorrow, and all of the other emotions that emerge from living with a chemically dependent human being. If this work seems repulsive and distasteful it is simply because drug addiction and its results are all of these things and more. I have not intentionally tried to offend anyone. On the contrary, I have only tried to relate the very real and all too often devastating and destructive results of chemical dependence and codependence. The losses that occur are enormous and affect all aspects of human life. Sickness, disease, financial ruin, spiritual decay, family disintegration, child abuse, mental illness, and death are all very real results when this madness is left to continue. But when drug abuse and addiction affect our children it is the greatest of sins.
I have written these words with the hope that in some small way they may touch someone who is burdened and sick with grief from the living hell of drug addiction and its results. I have also written these words with hope that in some way the laws may be modified to help the poor souls who are now trapped within this vicious death rattle. I give thanks for the opportunity to share these words with you and may you be fortunate enough to never experience the death of dreams.
Sincerely,
Charles Nolan Wolf
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About the Book
Shame
you left me to the nightmares of a dark room in an attic.
you left me to the shadows of a ghost I could not see.
you left me there to shiver and to crouch in silent places
when all the world I’d ever known had gone away from me.
you left me with a memory and the image of your face.
you left me with the fear of death that I could not erase.
you left me when I needed you when I was only three
when all the world I’d ever known had gone away from me.
you left me without warning without telling me good-bye.
you left me without saying that you loved me when I cried.
you left me in the shadows of a child I could not find
when all the world I’d ever known had left me far behind.
you left me for a shot of booze a line of coke but more
you left me in the dark of night when I was only four.
you left me by myself to find a way to stop the fear,
when all I ever wanted was for you to be so near.
and now I’m standing oh so tall so daring and so proud
that I have made myself a world where you are not allowed.
a world that is free of pain where little children play
against the dark room shadows of a ghost I cannot name.
About the Author
Cocaine: the Death of Dreams is Mr. Wolf’s first collected body of work. It represents a journey that has spanned the last seven years of his life, a journey that will not end with the publication of this book. The poetry and prose within these pages was born out of an overwhelming desire to free his children from the devastating effects of living with a chemically dependent parent. His absolute disgust toward the inadequate laws that govern drug abuse and child abuse has repeatedly been fueled by the agonizing frustration of not being able to save his children from this nightmare. He has continually sought help from attorneys, social services, and law enforcement agencies only to be smothered with double-talk and rejection. The material within this book paints a sad and ugly picture of a reality that currently many millions of children in this country must live with on a day-to-day basis. It is the sincere hope of the author that someday these words might make a difference.