Juggling the Truth

This Internet interactive conversation opened me up in certain ways. It opened up something very private. It dragged me forwards. I advanced, though at its edges. I was thrilled, but scared. Repulsed, disgusted by what I'd dredged up from my unconscious ...... Did I commit a crime? I don’t know. All I know is that I transgressed over into a wicked world. Wicked because part of me is ashamed. I am a family person. Family and religion have always been important for me. But another part of me says that this was clean. All done electronically, no identities, no addresses or locations revealed. There I was. A thirty-three year-old woman, highly respected in my profession. Attractive. Loyal to my family, colleagues and friends. Committed to community and church projects. That is exactly who I am. And yet there was this weird hunger. I knew no one would know or even guess. My secret. Mine alone .... I am a practiced actress, so it is easy for me to slip into the role of electronic temptress, or another role. After all, I play two roles every day. First, they say my teaching inspires, but I work hard to play the role of gifted teacher. Second, I play the iron-fisted disciplinarian at work, but in my personal life I play the ‘softy’. All respect me. I have a good life to protect. I wonder, not if this, or something like this is going to happen again, but when, and how.