More Tales of Past and Present

Excerpts from “Woman in Black” The often stated stereotype that there is less crime in a small town is frequently wrong, but quite correct in the case of Truville-on-Hudson or its closest neighbor, Orchard. Most police investigations were in fact about trivial matters. But then there is a case that can be considered strange, perhaps exotic: the case of the “Woman in Black”, intriguing to some of the locals. Perhaps its roots were in the nature of the town itself. Truville-on-Hudson was one of those towns along the river which could still be considered picturesque. True enough, Manstone’s Pharmacy had been replaced by a CVS after Mr. Manstone had run off with the woman managing the cosmetic and perfume counter, leaving behind wife and kiddies. Manstone was an old-fashioned man; he had stubbornly stuck to the old ways and had refused to sell any kind of contraceptives. Despite the changes, the worn-out look of some of the houses, the recent gentrification and the appearance of an upscale café in an old building proclaimed the town’s quaintness along with the subtle declaration that it was with-it. The murder had taken place in a motel in a neighboring town. Technically Bathos was not involved. The chief of police of Orchard, Bill Smith, beseeched him to help. His red face was even redder than usual and he was clearly suffering. “You have experience with murders. I don’t. Before I call the State Police, I would like to discuss it with you. It involves the murder of one of the citizens of your fair town, Eugene Sudderson. Surely you would know more about him than I do.” Bathos could well understand Bill’s concern. The town council had been speaking of abolishing the police force for the sake of economy. The salaries of three policemen was unneeded since the State Police could be at the town’s beck and call. The advantage of having policemen familiar with the community wasn’t thought worthwhile. That you couldn’t involve an overworked State Police in routine matters wasn’t even considered by the citizenry. The case seemed simple enough. Sudderson was having a tryst with a woman at a motel. He was killed by a single shot from a .22.The powder marks suggested that it was held close to his head. The desk clerk could only describe the woman as “a woman in black.” Since there was no other visitor and the woman in black had entirely disappeared before the police had been summoned, she was the most likely suspect. The surveillance cameras in the corridor saw only one woman entering and then leaving two hours later. The fire-escape would have required passing through the corridor. The traces of semen on the bed supported the assumption that it had been a sexual encounter. But then who was the woman in black? Evelyn exclaimed, “A black widow. First you fuck him and then you terminate him. Interesting. Maybe a profiler would have something to say. Bet you this is a case to be solved by a woman not by a man.” Bathos laughed uproariously. “The next thing you’ll tell me is that the Woman in Black is a blonde because blondes look best in black.” “Laugh if you must, but put your money where your foolishness is.” “Ten bucks that she’s not a blonde.” “No, that’s not what I meant. Ten bucks that a major clue will come from a woman.” “Done! Bet you think you’re that woman ... You’re not supposed to mix into police business.” Bill Smith was unable to trace the gun which had had its numbers filed off. “All right, you came up with four names of women who are likely to have been involved with our philandering hero. And there might be more who don’t live in our fair town. What can we do with that?” Bathos complained. It was then that Evelyn felt compelled to put in her few cents worth. “As I understand it, it’s possible to extract DNA corresponding to the woman from a sample containing semen.” “You’ve been reading again! But then you don’t have anything to compare it with without inconveniencing a bunch of women who are not likely to be very cooperative and will have very uncooperative expensive lawyers. And I don’t think that poor Bill would be able to get a warrant to collect the appropriate samples.” “That’s nothing. It would be easy enough to collect hair from the comb of a beauty shop.These are women of means, don’t forget.” “Hm! Hm! I’m not sure of the legality of that.” “Legality, shmegality! Once you know whose it is you can find a way of getting a warrant.” “First, I think Bill might be able to narrow down your list by examining whether they have an alibi.” Bill was not experienced in interrogation. His villains usually confessed in the middle of the warning about evidence, silence and the right to a lawyer. But fortunately what he had to ask was simple and through interviews, Bill found that all the women on the list had an alibi, except for Gladys Rose. She was very cooperative and quickly told them the details of her affair. She had no objection to a DNA test. After waiting two weeks for the results, they were found to be negative. “Well, there we are. At no place at all!” Conversing with his wife, Bathos was becoming impatient. “I also don’t understand what happened. Everything indicates that only one woman was involved. If we were to suppose that the motivation was jealousy, you might expect two. One for trysting and one for murder.” “Well you know what they say in fiction “cherchez la femme.” “Isn’t that what we have been doing?” “No, not at all. What you have been doing is “cherchez les femmes” and rather clumsily at that. You haven’t even considered the most logical candidate.” “What are you talking about?” “His wife, of course. It shouldn’t be hard to get a DNA sample from her.” “That’s ridiculous, why would he have a tryst with his wife?” “Well, if done right, it could give sex a taste of the illicit and the exotic, perhaps helped along by dressing in black.” “I think you’re dreaming.” “Am I? Remember our vacation in the Bahamas, our only vacation in twenty years?” “Stop harking on our rare vacations. You know we couldn’t go all that often. But our stay in the Bahamas, how could I forget it?” “That’s my point. I had to stop you. I was afraid you’d have a heart attack.” “I don’t remember anything like that. You’re making it up.” “Not at all. I was there, wasn’t I?” “Well! His wife! That’s the stupidest idea I have ever heard.” Of course it was exactly correct. The DNA samples matched exactly. Once again Bathos had lost a bet with his wife. The motive, of course, was the usual one. Eugene Sanderson ‘s wife had become tired of his playing around. Why she couldn’t just go through a juicy divorce instead was one of those matters that have no answer. After the case was solved, Bathos hoped that it showed to one and all how important it was to have a local police force and that the police department of Orchard should not be disbanded. He didn’t have much time to grapple with that thought. The call came through from one his men. Mrs. Berenstein’s cat was up a tree again. What should he do?