Finding Happiness without Children

Stories always seem to flow with the pace of the comb, while a woman is sitting underneath the cape in a barber chair.It is also where many companionships and friendships begin. It is where laughter, giggles, gossip and tears sometimes get started.Sometimes we hear heart wrenching stories that keep everyone listening no matter who is under that cape. When I was working as a hair stylist in the 70's, I was just out of High School, carefree and naive, but with a good sense of humor, that could usualy help women see the brighter side of things no matter how bleak it looked.However there were certain times when even my great sense of humor was not enough to crack even the slightest smile on someones face.These were the occassions when serious conversations would arise on the topic of women who feared getting old: They feared getting old because they were childless.Not by choice but by chance.This topic always took presedance over other topics such as love affairs,romance,or the latest fashions,because it always seemed to stir up personal emotions and stories amoungst perfect strangers.

At the time I didn't think the words menapause, infertility or childless would ever apply to me, so I really didn't give the subject too much thought. I remember these women to be in their mid thirties to early forties, which to me seemed ancient. I always thought they were happy because they seemed to have everything from good jobs, dream homes, nice cars, and dotting husbands, that is until one day one of these women commented that she hoped she would never live a long life! Not very often I'm stuck for words, but this was certainly one time that I was. When I asked her the question "why not? Her answer was "because I don't want to be alone in the world with no children" This was also another time when my sense of humor wouldn't be of much benifit or comfort,so I reassured her that when she gets old I would come to visit her.

Little did I know that one day that would be me. walking in the same shoes. Facing life without children. I suddenly remembered how all these women would describe the feelings of lonliness and fear. How they felt less a women because they were not a mom.They would talk about their life as though it had no meaning or purpose. Suddenly I felt that I could relate to their feelings,because I felt as though I was living those emotions.I felt like the women who didn't want to live a long life.The one who I said I would go and visit when she got old.