Angel Lost
Searching for His Love in a Cold War
by
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After one evening meeting’s discussion of a passage of the Bible he followed her outside to walk to his quarters. Her brightly patterned ao dai sweetly showed the form beneath. The bright full moon shining over the jungle beyond the area cleared for defensive fire showed the slightly swaying tree tops dancing before the stars in tempo with the wind. The rhythm of her walk seemed to be in step with the gently waving leaves high above the ground.
Eric considered, “This would be very romantic if the moonlight did not reveal barbed wire fences and fortifications designed to save and kill. No, but with this woman I feel at peace and wish I could show the feelings that are there. I am the highest human authority in this mini-world and any show of emotion toward her would be out of place for several reasons.”
Nevertheless, as he caught up with her and they walked on the wooden walkways both enjoyed the moments of peaceful reverie as her eyes reflected the soft light of a shining moon.
This young woman, ever increasing in allurement to him, filled his thoughts when duty did not demand his full attention. Even memories of his family, his parents, brother and sisters, did not intrude in his consciousness as often as before. Her constant presence in his thoughts caused him to question, “Is this love? Could I be in love with her? What are the characteristics of love? But she is different! She is different racially. Her whole background is different. Am I drawn to her because I am lonely in a strange land? Is it because she is not at all like an American girl? Is the impulse to have a mate some socio-biology thing that drives me to continue the specie?
“But her being different is only part of my pull toward her. Why do I like her so much? Why do I admire her so much? First, she is physically and spiritually beautiful by whatever standards one uses. Orphaned, she entered the home of people of another race and thrived in every area of her character. She is intelligent and emotionally and physically strong. I know that she is warm, caring, and nurturing.
“I must say something to her and not let these moments slip by and later regret it. When she smiles her teeth are so straight and true and are as white as the purest pearl. My lips send messages to me that they want to be pressed against hers.
“This is not lust for I honor her and respect her. My deepest desire is to protect her. Is what I feel love? No one has ever effectively described ‘love’ for me. All that I have read or seen indicates that those who are “in love” are on cloud nine with no concern of the future but I am concerned. If we were to marry and have children they would be of mixed race and possibly face discrimination. What would my parents feel about having an Asian daughter-in-law? Dad was raised in the south of Texas and mother could have some prejudice against other races although she and her father stood up to the Nazis.
“Although she lived in an American home as a child she did not swim in the water of American culture. I would rather I be hurt than have her suffer from the meanness of slurs and slights. I do hurt in another way though when I imagine her in the arms, being the mate, of another.
“Lord, lead me and direct me! Have me do and say what is Your will!”
Two nights later as they walked he stopped, placed his hands on her arms, turned her and kissed her. She responded, her hands gripping his arms tightly and made no effort to pull away.
As his lips separated from hers he used them to tell her, “Lee, I love you here and now. But I am confused. I have never felt like this before! Am I only infatuated because I am lonely? I don’t know myself! I simply find you wonderful and right now I think I love you. But I don’t want to hurt you by putting you in a strange place where you can’t cope. I don’t know what to do!”
“Eric Solms, right now I love you too. When you finally make up your mind let me know and I will see how I feel then. At this moment I have a love for you that consumes me. I too question whether it is the circumstances. You are an American officer, a rich American officer, in Europe you will be a nobleman if you so desire. And,” she added with a smile, “this is so romantic - starlight over barbed wire as we stand by a machine gun and other tools for killing and with a leopard purring behind us. Yes, let me know when you make up your mind and then I will tell you if my love continues…
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About the Book
Lieutenant Eric Solms found love in war torn Vietnam when he assumed command of an American Army Special Forces in Vietnam. In the camp he discovered Lỳ Thi Kim-Lỳ, called Lee by Americans. a key figure at the fortification as a Vietnamese female medic. She had had been reared in the home of American missionaries. Drawn by her deep Christian commitment, compassionate heart, intellect, and beauty, Eric is attracted to her. In turn, his faith, honesty, and leadership of the Special Forces team pull her toward him. Within weeks they have expressed love for one another. But Eric questions if it is an attraction based on the emotional and shared dangers they face.
Before their romance can mature Eric is seriously wounded. Using her medical skills and improvised treatments she keeps Eric alive during a jungle journey until they reach an American army hospital. While unconscious from his infected wounds Lee is not permitted to accompany him by the military medical personnel when he is evacuated to the United States.
She then disappears.
Eric, aided by full American government assistance, fruitlessly searches for Lee as he realizes that his love for Lee was not caused by circumstances. His father uses his significant political influence to aid in Eric’s quest. As an attractive young man, son of affluent parents, he encounters several beautiful and eager women.
During the years of unrest in America in the 1960’s and 1970’s as protest against the Cold War campaign in Vietnam surges his inquiries carry him into the shadowy world of intelligence in America and Germany.. Both in America and in Germany strangers offer to help Eric find Lee but with a price. He is also given a mission as a courier from East Germany to the West.
Will he succeed in finding his one beloved or is there another one for him?
About the Author
ROBERT SPOEDE was born in 1926 in southern Texas, graduated from Texas A&M, and entered the Army. During his service in the Central Highlands of Vietnam he was awarded the Bronze Star Medal for Meritorious Service, the Combat Infantry Badge, and, by the Saigon government, the Cross of Gallantry He later earned a PhD in History from the College of William and Mary. His previous novel is Double Identity: A Texan in Hitler’s Reich.