Horses Happen!

From the Introduction: You never really thought you would own a horse. Maybe you were nursing an unrequited childhood pony lust, or maybe your dreams centered more on fast cars and big houses. Everything changed when one day little Suzy (or Marie, or, occasionally, Tommy) took a field trip to a local horse farm. The blackmailing was insidious. There would be no appropriate bedtime, no quiet meals, and no sane conversation in the house until you put down your newspaper or turned off your computer and gave your full and earnest attention to the whiny little monster who used to be your child. “But, Mom! Dad!” you heard, “Everybody’s getting a horse but me!” Naturally, this statement was suspect from the get-go. Granted, you’d been a little out of touch with your child’s friends, but you were pretty sure none of the neighbors’ yards had sprouted grass-nibbling critters bigger than your SUV. Still, the Good Parent voice in your head was shrieking, “Do you want all the other parents to think you can’t afford to give your kid whatever her over-marketed little brain thinks she needs?” No micro-parent worth her (or his) salt would overstep this bound. So, checkbook in hand, you hauled little Lindsay off to the nearest horse emporium, The Silver Spur Happy Trails Riding Stable (Horses For Hire and Sale, Riding Lessons by Appointment). You found yourself standing toe-to-hoof with the biggest, dustiest, homeliest monster that’s ever escaped from your nightmares. Your child was hopping from foot to foot in excitement. The dealer was smiling around his chaw of nicotine-replacement gum, and someone was handing you a rope. You might as well have used it to tether yourself to the nearest flagpole, because this was the start of a wild ride. Welcome, Fellow Traveler, to the Wild World of Horse Ownership!