Almost

It is 4:45 a.m. on an early spring morning. The alarm clock is buzzing. It is twenty-three degrees outside. I haven’t slept a wink. I have been up all night haunted with the thought of leaving my wife of twenty years and my two children. It is just unthinkable! I am repulsed with myself but oddly excited at what I am about to do! I slowly slink out of bed and walk towards the bathroom, the hardwood floors creaking with every step. It sounded as if there was a percussionist following me around. We live in a one hundred year old house in an upscale neighborhood in Bloomfield Hills, MI. I stop and look back at my wife. She is unknowing that when I leave for this very ordinary business trip, as I have done hundreds of times before, it will be the last time she kisses me goodbye … forever! Being the scum of the earth does not come easy for me, but then again, neither does becoming some inmate’s cell-bitch at Jackson State Prison. Thinking of what I have done and looking at this peaceful beauty I call my soul mate, I leave myself no other option. I must leave to protect my family from the humiliation they will all have to endure. How diluted have I become? Am I leaving to protect my family or me? As I stand looking at the pathetic reflection of myself in the mirror, I cannot believe what has taken place in my life. My head hanging low, hands gripped tightly on the sides of the sink, I puke until my guts feel like someone is pulling them through my mouth with a pair of pliers … my body heaves in agony. Just then Samantha, my darling wife, places her hand between my shoulders and asks, “Are you okay … maybe you should come back to bed and call this trip off for a few days … sounds like you are catching the flu.” I reply in my weakened state, “Sweetheart, go back to bed, I’ll be okay. You know I can’t call off this trip. Today we take possession of Dillianquest … I have to go. I will wake you before I leave … now go back to bed … I love you.” She kissed me on the shoulder and was gone. I made myself sick, lying to this woman who has done nothing but support me for so many years … and this is how I repay her? God should strike me dead now before I cause her and the kids so much pain. And I will cause them great pain! Barely able to look at my disgusting self reflected in the mirror I wondered how this could be happening to me. I have always tried to do what was right … not ever intentionally hurting anyone-or so I made myself believe. Always trying to do the right thing ... how cliché. I close my eyes and my mind begins to wonder thinking about my past, my head still hanging low with shame. I am not one for wallowing in past mistakes. For some one in my position, hindsight can bring on paralysis, so I started to think about what lay ahead. An unthinkable adventure that will take me to where? I was not so sure. But the one thing I was certain about is that it would be in warmer weather, with firmer bodies and a ton of cash. If I stayed and ended up facing MY own music, it would certainly mean that I would be sharing a cell with heaven knows who. I envisioned a mountain of a man with an appetite for other men. I hated to think about what kind of terror HE and his butt-buddies would rain down on my body. I am six foot tall and in great physical shape. I take pride in my appearance, it helped with sales. Many said, mostly women and a few gays that I met along the way, that I had a very attractive build and great ass. It is that great ass I did not want to share with any of the boys in lock-up! Still leaning on the sink with the occasional dry heave, my mind began to wander to the evening when all this shit started. I was sitting alone at the Ocean Side Shanty, a small off the beaten trail bar and grill in Beaufort South Carolina. It was recommended as a great place to eat. It was located on a dark gravel road on some backwater inlet. I recall the distinct smell of the evening breeze gently wafting the unique scents of the sea across my face. You could taste the salt in the air. That is something that a kid from Michigan would never forget. The night was pitch black in the swampy lowland. There was a single light on the road marking the entryway, barely visible in the dense ocean fog. There was only a hand full of patrons in the place including me. I recall sitting at the bar and ordering a Scotch from a bartender named Juan. The night started off innocently enough, but somehow I ended up shooting pool with a thirty something drop-dead gorgeous young woman who called herself Contessa. She seemed to appear from thin air. I don’t even remember how we got started but it reminded me of one of those letters I read in Playboy as a young boy that always began with my favorite fantasy line, “I never thought this could happen to me”. To be honest, I never thought my story could have happened to me either but it did. It was about to change my life forever and not for the better! Contessa was five feet, ten inches tall with the silkiest long flowing jet black hair I had ever seen. It glistened in the dull bar light. She swirled it about in a most erotic fashion brushing it back off her forehead with her full open hand. Her hair would tumble back to the same position as before. Her tight low cut jeans exposed a firm stomach with just the hint of a tattoo peeking out from the front of her pants. Her snug fitted tee shirt commanded my attention. Lust was everywhere in my thoughts. She seemed genuinely glad to be there at that moment! This amazingly beautiful woman was clearly a wonderful blend of exotic South American heritage. A stunning blend of humanity with rich bronzed sensually supple skin. She smelled exquisite as she slowly sauntered back and forth in front of me taking her turn playing pool. Bent over the pool table, she stroked our shared cue and struck at the white cue ball without success. She did not say a word, she just smiled and tossed her hair back and handed me the cue but was not eager to let it go. Contessa was tempting me. Her eyes were dark as West Virginia coal and twinkled like diamonds in the low hanging bar lights. She shot lustful thoughts directly into my soul. This woman was one of the most beautiful women I have ever had the pleasure of meeting … amazing, and her attention was fixed solely on me. How could that be? It did not matter as I was mesmerized and drawn wholly into her spell. I was no match for this creature. As she slowly leaned over the table, my eyes were treated to an unbelievable sensual feast. I was transfixed, seemingly unconscious, starring at this exceptionally beautiful woman … so firm, so finely shaped. Dare I fantasize what having sex with her on the pool table would be like? How incredible!