Professor Szymon Szymanski had just walked into the observatory to conduct some late night observations; he was tired and concerned about the growing political unrest against the Jews in Europe at the end of the nineteenth century, so he wasn’t concentrating when he entered the building.
His colleague, Professor Reuben Wickler, who had earlier converted to Christianity, was there waiting for him and immediately pounced on him with his usual totally incoherent invective.
“You did it…you did it, you and your Kabbalist sorcery. You cheater, you liar, you dirty Jew…that’s what you are, a dirty Jew,” Reuben screamed. Szymon was not in any mood to contend with Reuben that night. He gave him a scornful look and said, “Reuben, if you weren’t so insane I would teach you a lesson for trying to besmirch my name, my work, and my heritage. Now get out of my way before I really get angry.”
He was shaking as he turned around and walked out of the observatory heading toward the Grunwaldzki Bridge. He was no longer in the mood for making any observations. Looking into the heavens after hearing Reuben’s rants did not appeal to him. Reuben quickly caught up to him still ranting and raving. Although, even in his drunken stupor, he sounded amazingly in control of his thoughts. Once again, he started hollering, “Liar! Cheat! Why don’t you confess? Tell everyone the truth about your famous dissertation, tell them how you cheated, how you lied!”
“Why do you say I’m a cheat and a liar? What are you talking about anyway?” Szymon asked as composed as he possibly could under the circumstances.
“You were worried about people finding you out, weren’t you?” Reuben sneered. “Now I know I was right all along—you are a liar and a cheat like all the other Jews. If it wasn’t for kishufim you would have nothing. How we Christians put up with your type I’ll never understand.”
Reuben continued making outrageous allegations while Szymon tried to rationally explain each ridiculous complaint, but Reuben would have none of it. Szymon could not take much more of these maniacal accusations about witchcraft, and continued to cross the bridge. He was no more than 100 meters from the end, just past the middle of the bridge, when he had to ask Reuben: “And what kishuf—what spell—are you talking about? You keep saying kishufim. This completely befuddles me; in fact, you befuddle me. I don’t know why I’m even bothering with you.”
As Reuben continued his alcoholic rant he frequently stumbled on his words. “Yes, and I suppose you forgot that too or do you have another clever answer for your involvement with the Kabbalists? I know as do, eh…does, as does everyone else at Charles that last night you got your final observations. You claimed that in the old cemetery the Maharal’s dybbuk left his grave and entered you! You had everyone believing that you could bring the golem in the shul’s attic back to life again. You had them terrified you were going to have the Maharal’s golem kill all the Christians if they threatened you—you are an evil Kabbalist sorcerer, you are…” Suddenly, Reuben charged at Szymon fists raised and flailing in the air.