Spa Wars

Now, for my Caddy Shack moment; yes folks, I have a doodie story. So there I was, working on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, when this very good–looking, John Kennedy Jr. looking guy came in to receive a body treatment. Let me set the stage for you. I walked the client into a dimly lit room, told him to get undressed and under the covers as soon as I left the room. I massaged his whole body using aromatic oil. This was a relaxing massage to put the client into a deep state of relaxation as opposed to a deep tissue massage. Next, I rubbed the client’s full body down with a hydrating body scrub to exfoliate the dead skin. Once fully massaged and scrubbed, I wrapped him in heated blankets to help the oils penetrate. After twenty minutes, I returned to the room, unwrapped the client, and instructed him to take a shower in order to remove all the scrub. After showering, he could get dressed and come out to the front since the treatment would then be finished. At the end of the hour and a half treatment, he was very relaxed, bought some products and left the store. When I went back to clean the room, I picked up a towel and there was a big, brown streak on the once pristine white towel. I just looked at it and thought, “Could it be? No! Oh my God!” So, of course I had to sniff it, thinking it must be melted chocolate he was eating in the room to finish off such a decadent treatment. Maybe it melted in his pocket and he wiped it on the towel. It could never be actual doodie! But yes, it was doodie! So there I was, standing alone, holding this crappy towel with a look of disbelief on my face. I was trying to visualize how this happened. What were the circumstances? Did he know he did this, and if so, why would he leave it there? Did he wipe his butt too hard after showering and come up with a big, doodie streak? But who has that much crap left over in their crack? I’ll never believe he had that much doodie left over in his crack. He must have known there was that much crap on the towel, since he just left it there like a prize. Maybe that was my tip for a great treatment. Was that how he felt about the treatment? Was it crappy?