No Roads to Follow

I believe very strongly in synchronicity. The idea that everything happens with a divine purpose, and that there are no coincidences in life. It was no coincidence to me that I decided to set a goal to kayak the Great Lakes solo, or support the Canadian Cancer Society in the process. The puzzle pieces of my life had come together perfectly. In many ways, it seems that I was training my whole life for this trip. I grew up exploring the forests near my family home in Creemore, Ontario. I had always felt completely at ease in nature, and I hiked, snow shoed, and camped on my own as often as my parents would allow me. As a young boy, I loved to sleep outside. When summer arrived and school was finished, I would trade my comfortable bed for a sleeping bag and groundsheet under the stars in the backyard. Looking up at the sky each night, I would fall asleep dreaming I was living in the wilderness. I started canoeing when I was seven, and in the last few years before my Great Lakes trip paddling had become a passion with me. I loved to paddle. Freedom in motion. Rarely did a weekend go by that I wasn't canoeing a lake or river somewhere within driving distance. Dreams of leaving on a long canoe expedition began to fill my thoughts regularly, and were fuelled by books like Summer North of Sixty, Seekers Of The Horizon, and Water And Sky. While paddling with friends, I would tease them with invitations to run away on canoe expeditions. "Hey Steve, let’s quit our jobs and paddle out the St. Lawrence to Nova Scotia!... No, let’s go to the Gulf of Mexico!,” I enthused. "Mexico?," he would argue. "Lets head for the barrens and follow the footsteps of Franklin." It was like asking someone how they would spend their money if they won the lottery. I didn't really think I would ever do it, I just loved talking about the possibility. My decision to kayak 3,200 kilometers solo across the Great Lakes in support of the Cancer Society came easily. Understanding fully why I made my decision is much more difficult. I believe part of the reason was due to my feelings that I was losing control of my life. I was uncertain where I was headed, with no clear ideas or direction. After leaving a career in fisheries management that I had devoted 10 years towards, I felt lost. I had spent the past 2 years struggling to figure out who I was and where I fit in with society without a chosen career. Regardless of all my parents' teachings, I still found myself judging who I was by my work, or lack of it, and my financial position in life. Had it been someone else, I probably would have told them, "you're more than your job or worldly possessions," but for me at that time in my life, many of the beliefs I had previously held to be true seemed weak and without merit. Beginning this trip was therapy for me. It gave me a purpose, a goal which I could focus on. However, this was not the only reason and probably not the reason that inspired me to take the plunge, or more importantly, to involve the Canadian Cancer Society. The real inspiration came from something that I heard on the radio while driving home from a canoe trip. For the better part of two years I had been focusing on what I didn't have, instead of celebrating what I did. I knew then, that it was time to make a change.