Greatest loss, greatest gift
Diaries of endurance after suicide
by
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Time stood still “I am going to die, I just want to die, dear God please allow me to die I do not wish to exist” I am desperate for a way out. I am breathing barely moving, my mind is vague, uncertain and confused, paralyzed, it is foggy. The complete loss of a sense of self! My body it seems is in the process of shutting down. I’ve fallen into a great big wallowing hole, It is too much, too severe this intense sorrow this agony. Whoosh, down the rabbit hole I go!
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About the Book
When I decided to write this book it was because I really wanted to share this experience I wanted to provide some insight and comfort to others.
It is a book about the utter devastation that is suicide, it is a journey from day one, the beginning of this process plagued by self doubt, questioning your mental stability, seeking relief, deliverance from intense pain and sorrow, repentance and regret. All these days are relevant to where you are in the present, in my case six years later.
There is hope for those left behind to deal with this life in the absence of the one you love.
The human spirit is truly amazing, your life will go on…. however you will not remain the same.
About the Author
Born and grew up in great britain, I was fortunate to have the most magnificent childhood, I grew up living at the seaside and roaming the fields and church yards in a small county town where my imagination and enthusiasm would run wild and unhampered. I was a bohemiun child,, unconventianal animal lover that had a passion for art, and had a strong desire to travel. After years of marvellous and somewhat peculiar experiences, meeting all sorts of very interesting and rather astonishing individuals in various foreign countries! I decided that it was high time to get back to America where i met Mike,. we married and made a home. It was the happiest and most stable time of my life.
I do feel blessed to have lived such a colourful life, to have such a wonderful family that encourage me to continue to strive, and an abundance of brilliantly smashing good friends.