When All Else Fails

Late one night after I had been in bed for several hours, I heard a sound that woke me up. Before I knew what was happening, Roger was on top of me, straddling my hips. One pudgy hand was over my mouth while the other hand roughly ripped my nightgown and began groping my bare chest!

He found my locket and tore it off my neck leaving a little trail of blood behind. He stuffed it in his pocket before he continued his quest. Panic filled my mind. I could hardly breathe! I thrashed and bucked, hitting him in the face with my fists as hard as I could.

Being terrified gave me more strength than Roger expected. I managed to bite down hard on the hand that covered my mouth dislodging it long enough to scream. The foster mother burst into the room.

Roger jumped off me as if I was on fire and started whimpering. Sweat was pouring off me and I was trembling from exertion and fear. I sprang off the bed and stood against the wall as I tried to cover myself with what was left of my nightgown.

He told the woman that I had been “teasing” him all day finally inviting him to my bedroom. When he tried to kiss me, I began kicking and screaming. How he managed to get tears to come from his squinty, near-sighted eyes was the most incredible thing I had ever witnessed. I couldn’t believe he was blaming ME!

The foster mother spun around and slapped me hard across my face. She called me names that I had only heard in association with “bad” girls who “did things” with boys. When I tried to stammer out an explanation, she slapped me again.

The woman’s voice escalated as she yelled at me.

“Maybe you were allowed to act this way in other foster homes but your behavior will NOT be tolerated in this house.”

I was locked in my room and told that I would be sorry for “starting trouble”.

My behavior? What had I done exactly? Dazed and confused, I slid to the floor.

At first I cried, not able to comprehend what had just happened! My locket was gone along with the pictures of my parents. The thing I treasured most in the whole world had been ripped from me and the anguish I felt was overwhelming. My nightdress was in shreds and my cheeks were bruised and stinging.

I have to get away, was my next conscious thought. I knew I couldn’t stay in this house a minute longer. Sooner or later Roger would try again and he would keep trying until he succeeded in getting what he wanted. I had learned enough in health class to know exactly what that involved as well as what the consequences might be. I also knew I would be blamed as being the instigator.