The Lady on the Train
More Humorous Paddy Pest Yarns for Children over Thirty
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The Swiss police are clever and the Italian police are the Italian police. However, Paddy Pest was able to outsmart them both. I had disappeared into the Pennine Alps and was slowly picking myself down the north face of the Matterhorn, one of the most treacherous climbing mountains in the world. I was sure that my pursuers would have alerted the air-wing but I was confident that they would not spot me in my goose-lined, snow-colored sealskin cover-all. I was more worried that I might run into some animal activists. They have been out to get me ever since I barbecued that small puppy in Bratislava. When you are hungry, you’ve got to look after number one.
Baron Mularczyk’s luxury home on the banks of Lake Como is sometimes unoccupied. He is an international commodity dealer and the man travels quite a bit. Mularczyk is unmarried and his personal history is camouflaged by a distinct lack of detail. This kind of thing irks British Intelligence immeasurably and they contacted me with instructions to break into his safe and deliver the contents to them. I think that it was generally accepted that if I were to find any hard currency, it would go straight into my Ladbrokes betting account.
When the bean counters in Vauxhall tried to equate Mularczyk’s income with his wealth, they came up with a strong smell of borscht. Could he be a long term sleeper on a mission from Moscow? I wasn’t that fussed. Who wants to save the world, these days? I was happy to take my sling and get home to some sun, surf and a decent beverage. Whoever invented this Glühwein stuff must have had shit for brains.
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About the Book
Ask anyone who knows him: Paddy Pest is a real character.
Paddy is an Australian crime fighter with a dubious Irish background, an overwhelming abundance of confidence, and a handful of bad habits. His enthusiasm for finding trouble is only exceeded by his incompetence.
Fortunately, his pal and sometime sidekick, Stormy Weathers, is usually available to rescue him from his ill-advised forays into foolish and reckless situations—frequently involving the fairer sex. From Yvette Baguette, the delightfully French gendarme, to Paddy’s nemesis, Nadia Nickoff—the minx from Minsk—Paddy is a lady’s man all the way.
Murder and mayhem are all in a day’s work for this Aussie crime fighter. He needs his wits to survive the onslaught of the disreputable rogues and villains who are out to get him. Paddy’s life is one big, unbelievable adventure after another. And now, he’s got a certain lady on a certain train who needs his help—or does she?
The world needs someone like Paddy Pest—and if you doubt that, just ask him!
About the Author
Gerry Burke earned his stripes as a copywriter in the advertising industry, so his move to publishing was one he embraced with enthusiasm. He has a long-standing commitment to the horse racing community, late-night bars, and loose women (which inspired his comedic hero, Paddy). Gerry is single and lives in Melbourne, Australia.