The Secret Life of Communication

When I was fifteen, the highlight of my day was coming home from school to snuggle with my baby sister, Bridget. I’d drop my backpack at the door and head straight for Bridget’s room to kiss her cheeks and wake her up from her nap. As I cradled Bridget in my arms her sweet baby smell and the weight of her body relaxing onto my chest always calmed my nerves and lifted my spirits. One day, instead of finding her soundly sleeping, I ran into Bridget’s room to find her screaming as if someone were torturing her.

When I got to her crib I noticed that she was asleep, even though she was crying so loudly. Right away I could see what was causing Bridget’s pain. Her little fingers were completely entwined in her hair and she was pulling as hard as she could. The sound of her cries told me that she not only felt pain, she felt fear. Without waking her, I gently released her grip and caressed her sweet, little head. Immediately, she relaxed and heaved a big sigh as she continued to sleep.

Sometimes, I’m just like Bridget. I cause my own pain but don’t realize it. I think I’m trapped by someone else’s words or actions and I can’t see another way. Have you ever felt like that? We can choose to sleep through life to find some measure of relief from the constant chatter in our minds that tells us nothing will ever get better. That chatter is wrong! It can get better, if we are willing to pay attention to the full spectrum of our internal communication, not just the chatter in our heads.

That’s what this book is about—how to listen and respond to all aspects of communication so that we can build healthy relationships and open up to the unlimited love that exists in each and every moment. After exploring the foundational elements of communication, I will describe each of the four layers of communication and the importance of self-care. In each chapter you will find stories from my own journey and those of my clients, to add humor and clarity along the way.

Advance Praise for
The Secret Life of Communication

“I found The Secret Life of Communication clear, insightful, and touching. It is obvious that Dr. Wilson has a passion for helping human beings communicate from a place of love and deep respect.”

—Gay Hendricks, PhD, author of The Big Leap, co-author, with Dr. Kathlyn
Hendricks, of Conscious Loving

“Healthy communication depends on alignment and integration of the mind, body, heart, and spirit. Dr. Annie B. is the first communication expert to explain how we can achieve this harmony, and, to do so in a way that is engaging and easy to understand.”

—Rebecca Hamm, MA, LPC, cofounder of The One Center of Austin

“In The Secret Life of Communication, Annie Wilson will show you the connection between your inner feelings and beliefs and how you relate to others around you. This book is full of ‘aha’ moments.”

—Ken Blanchard, PhD, coauthor of The One Minute Manager and Great Leaders Grow

“Dr. Annie B. is opening the door for people to discover the possibility oftrue oneness and love in their communications with others.”

—Dr. (Ibrahim) R. Jaffe, MD, president of the University of Spiritual Healing and Sufism