The Road To Freedom

Have you ever tried finding your way through a construction zone in an unfamiliar city? If so, you probably know what it’s like to run into dead end after dead end, your GPS navigation system rendered totally useless by the recent road work, your nerves on edge as you thread your way through the heavy traffic. Sometimes life can feel a lot like that. We have an idea of who we want to be—a loving parent, a patient friend, a compassionate person—but at every turn, something seems to get in the way.

I got lost trying to find my way. I made a professional change at age thirty, went back to school, and became a psychotherapist. I had read many books on religion, psychology, and spirituality that helped me let go of a lot of baggage and gain freedom in my life. I met with my minister and other church staff to talk about my questions, decipher my night time dreams, and help me grow in my faith. I married a wonderful woman who is highly interested in physical, emotional, and spiritual health. I surrounded myself with friends who were interested in their psychological and spiritual growth. I joined a writer’s group where all the members are interested in my monthly submissions and give excellent feedback.

I came to realize that we all have a human nature and a spiritual nature. I believe our main purpose is to create a divine union, or unite our humanity with our Divine Self. This is what Jesus modeled for us.

Sometimes we live an integrated life. We forgive a friend. We love our neighbor. We pray and meditate. We volunteer at a local non-profit. And then something unexpected happens that sets us back on our journey.

The Divine Self knows the spiritual nature of this human experience. The ego gets us stuck in the human experience and will not allow the divine union to occur. The Divine Self lives in love. The ego lives in fear. The Divine Self lives in the present moment. The ego lives in the pain and glories of the past and the anticipated future. The Divine Self forgives. The ego holds on to grudges.

Paradoxically, we need to fully embrace our human nature while we simultaneously fully embrace our spiritual nature. The purpose in writing this book is to guide you on how to develop a healthy human essence (Section II), help you find your spiritual essence that is already inside of you, and how to create a divine union between the two (Section I).

Each of us needs healthy and functional skills and talents to live in the world. We need to have strengths and abilities to help us meet new people, be successful at our jobs, set boundaries with people, raise children to be self-reliant, learn how to resolve conflicts, and have the communication and coping skills to grow old with our life partners. We need healthy qualities and competencies so we can find fulfilling jobs that match our personality. We need to be skillful and proficient so we can safely co-exist on highways with other cars driving 75 miles per hour. We need to learn these human competencies and evolve into the next developmental stage of embracing our spiritual nature and creating a union between the human and the divine.

This next stage is not adequately talked about or modeled by leaders in the religious or psychology realms. Predominantly, we are taught to live from the ego mind. The ego is simply a way of thinking. It is a mind—a mindset—that is built on unconsciousness and the absence of the Divine. The egoic mind drives us with thoughts of separateness and creates a false sense of self. The egoic mind sees the world in terms of “I want this,” or “I don’t want this.”

This way of living in the world is ruining individuals, families, communities, countries, and our planet. We are taught to perceive our human strengths, abilities, and talents as “mine,” which creates an unhealthy persona. By definition, an ego-driven life will be difficult and full of baggage. We will become mired in the world. The ego will play all sorts of insidious tricks to keep us disconnected from our divinity—our Divine Self.

Most people think they are living life the correct way because almost everyone else is doing similar things. But this lifestyle falls short and unhappiness is rampant. Alcohol and recreational drug use, abuse of prescription medications, expensive vacations, and galloping consumerism are all methods to try to deal with their malaise. We work hard to try and feel better by putting our self on a pedestal and only take care of our self.

Our egos also judge others, which can harm relationships and ourselves. Our egos have buttons that can be pushed. We get sent to the moon when a spouse, child, or friend says something that triggers intense negative emotions within us. Our egos push us toward the seven deadly sins. Yes, our egos create the thoughts, “I work hard for my money. I will not donate any to (fill in the blank).” Or, “I’m busy and I have a lot to get done. I don’t have time to be play with the kids.” Or, “The business will never know if I pad my expense account.” Or the corporate ego (country) says, “That neighboring country has what we want. We will write policies or send in our military to insure our own stability.” And on and on and on.

Our church, synagogue, mosque, or AA group challenges us to name our sins. The spiritual component of our lives knows this is right and necessary. But our egos want us to deny our sins, project them onto others, rationalize them away, or put on a nice smile and thank the pastor/rabbi/priest for a nice sermon and promptly forget everything he or she said.

The ego mind creates unconsciousness and darkness which always leads to pain, suffering, or destruction. This darkness is insidious and dangerously subtle. The ego mind promises us that it will be our friend, take care of us, and make us better than others. But ultimately it will only harm us.

Our Divine Self, which is connected to God/Spirit/Higher Being, doesn’t need to glorify itself. Our Divine Self doesn’t want us to run on the treadmill that leads nowhere. It wants us to spend more time with the family. The Divine Self wants us to sit and meditate, be in nature, and live a life of abundance. The Spirit wants to guide us to help us grow closer to God. The Divine Self within us wants to help others. The Divine Self wants to create a union with our human essence.

How do we get truly connected to God and our spiritual nature when our ego desperately fights to keep us estranged? First, it is by being an observer of yourself and “seeing” the egocentric thoughts and its wants, desires, and aversions. Then, it is by embracing the Divine Self, the part of us that connects us to our Divine Being’s love, universal truths, and specific truths for us.

People of all faiths have a prayer that is similar to “Not my will, but Thy will be done.” “My will” equates to the ego. “Thy will” equates to the Divine Self. Jesus said we need to live in the world but not be of the world. We need human strengths to live “in the world.” Because we have a great capacity to subvert the will of God to our own, we need to access our Divine Self to be able to “not be of the world.”

With free will, everyone chooses who or what is running their lives. Since thoughts create our reality, a vital question to answer is: are we choosing thoughts that are from the ego or thoughts from the Divine? Our default mode is the ego so it takes awareness, practice, and discipline to merge into the road to freedom.