Lindsey

Prologue 

My life, like yours, is defined by moments. Sure, there will be the memorable events – graduating from school, getting married, the birth of a child, even momentous losses like grieving for a loved one. But I’m referring to moments. Those unplanned, unforeseeable flashes of time, unique to our lives, that truly define us. As time passes some memories fade, others intensify. 

I’m talking about the moments that will be as powerful decades later when we replay them in our mind’s theater as they are when they occur. Moments that live within us. These moments can be as fleeting as a first kiss or as long as a touch that lingers, if only in our mind. 

Sometimes we’re the architect of these moments; sometimes they are designed by others. Sometimes we participate willingly, even eagerly; other times these moments are forced upon us as we try desperately to cling to what we believe is our path. With the right person these are the moments that leave you breathless and longing. With others they can be arresting. 

I believe our life becomes our own when we begin to experience our own moments. During the first fifteen years of my life I was busy learning and growing, but in those years I was simply learning familial patterns my parents designed around me. Soon, though, events forced me to choose my path. 

I’m Lindsey Morgan Brooks. These are my moments. 
  
Table of Contents 

Part One: Firsts 
1. The First Day: I certainly hope so. 
2. Gymnastics: First practice. 
3. A Ride Home: This changes everything.
4. First Football Game: The football team won, but I seem to be in the lead. 
5. The Party: Sorry night was cut short. 
6. My Ride: Fade to black. 
7. Pairing Up: Just looking at him makes me nervous.
8. Empty: Everyone peaks at a different time. 
9. In Person: I’m gonna kill my routines. 
10. North Meets South: All’s well that ends well. 
11. Homecoming Dance: I’m in way over my head. 
12. Auditions: Should you trust me? Always. 
13. An Evening at Home: Why is everything a code? 
14. Play Rehearsal: He barely brushes his lips to my neck. 
15. Flower Day: Wonder if I will ever know. 
Part Two: Sweet Sixteen 
16. My birthday: Yours, Chris. 
17. North vs. South: A promise is a promise. 
18. A Night Out: Sweet dreams. 
19. Research: A huge weight has been lifted. 
20. Pickup Truck: Who’s that guy? 
21. Halloween: Will we ever have our first kiss? 
22. Dracula: Remember your mine. 
23. Our First Real Date: All of you. 
24. Hockey Night: Friends of yours? 
25. Thanksgiving Weekend: A third wheel. 
Part Three: A Night to Remember 
26. Date Night: Time to get ready. 
27. A Cold Winter Night: I’ve lost my grip. 
28. The Club House: Thank you. 
29. A Plan: They’re watching me. 
30. The Final Plea: Why me? 
31. Epilogue 




Part One: 
Firsts 
  

1. The First Day: I certainly hope so. 

First day of school. I wonder who’ll be in my classes. 

As I shower and start getting ready, my mind begins to wander. What will this year bring? Will I have girlfriends? Real girlfriends, or will it be like it’s always been, me as mostly a loner. I’ve always had friends, but not good friends. Not the kinds of friends you read about or see girls have in the movies. I tend to get along better with guys. Girls are so much trickier. Well, at least for me. I think I’m the only fifteen year old girl in the world that doesn’t have three ‘BFFs’. 

Looking in the mirror, all I think is ughh. I wonder who’ll be in the ‘cool’ crowd this year. Mostly I like not being part of a group. I’m just me. I hang out with the kids I like, regardless of whether they’re popular or not, or which group they’re a part of. Truth is I wish I was more outgoing and social. The kids who are outgoing seem to be friends with everyone. I know most of the kids in high school think I’m shy. Maybe I am. More than anything I think most of what they talk about is ridiculous so I choose not to join in. 

It’s such a nightmare being a girl. It would be so much easier to be a guy. Wake up, two minutes in the shower, throw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and show up at school – Instant Cool. Instead I’m faced with an endless array of decisions like, should I straighten my hair or curl it? Should I wear eyeliner or just blush and lip-gloss? Then there’s the annual challenge of selecting an outfit for the first day of school. The judgment girls place on that first-day-of-school-outfit is tangible. I guess the guys are judging too. Who gained weight over the summer? Who got taller? Who changed their hair? Nightmare. At least Mom had taken me shopping so I have plenty to choose from, but looking in my closet now suddenly nothing seems right. What will the girls wear this year? 

Staring at my closet I decide on jeans that I know fit well with a new pink top. Grabbing my backpack I head downstairs. Of course I’m the only one left in the entire junior class who can’t drive, but luckily my neighbor, Isabella, will give me a ride to school. 


 


As I ring her doorbell I wonder if it’s really Tuesday. What if it’s actually Monday, Labor Day, and I wake up her whole family on the wrong day? Stop it. Of course, it’s Tuesday. No one’s home at my house right? Mom and Dad already left for work so it must at least be a weekday. Wonder if I’ll ever stop questioning myself as to what day of the week it is. Do other people ask themselves what day of the week it is? Some probably do, but they likely live in a different kind of ‘home’. Smirk. I ring the bell and my mind turns to Isabella. I’m sure I’ll get an update on everything she and Rick, her boyfriend, have been doing. I’m sure they’ll go to the Homecoming Dance together. I wonder if anyone will… 

“Hello, Lindsey!” beams Mrs. Castiglioni. Isabella’s mom is like chocolate chip cookies, warm and inviting. 
“Hi,” I say as she gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. 
“How was your vacation out east? Must have been wonderful; you got plenty of sun!” She continues while holding my arms, which pale in comparison to her natural olive tone. 
“It was great, thank you.” 
“Hey,” here comes Isabella looking ridiculously pulled together. 
“Ready?” 
“Yep....