The NetworkSage

An African proverb says, “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” Going together is how we live our lives as humans. We are, right from the start, social. The collective cooperation and interpersonal support we offer one another is the engine that drives humankind’s progress and helps us live long, healthy, high-quality lives. How far you go—and I would argue how well and how fast—depends not only on you as an individual but on others too. 

That is because it is not solely your own health, education, and financial capital that determine your success. It is human capital too. In fact, more than any other resource at your disposal, human capital—yours and others’—will help you develop your talents, find your purpose, realize your potential, and achieve your dreams. Therein lies your superpower.  

Why do I call it a superpower? Because it is. And, because it is a lesson I learned from one of my favorite superheroes, Robert Downey, Jr., aka Iron Man. In an interview when the first of the three Iron Man films was released, he mentioned a “pit crew” helping him to stay on the road. His comment helped me see that I did, too. Eventually, I realized that my pit crews were networks of people relating to one another as they related to me. 

Key to realizing your network superpower is finding it and I can show you how in a three-step roadmap called ACTSage. In the first step, you become aware of all the connections you have with people in your networks. Then, you clarify what you want and need from them and finally, you transform your life using what you’ve learned. 

In all, you have eight networks. I call the first five of the eight networks birthright networks because you were born into them. Your parents created them to meet your basic needs for family ties, physical care, educational opportunity, spiritual support, and social interaction. You could not have thrived without them and, in fact, would not have survived. This was obvious when you were an infant, but it remains true throughout your life.  They include a family network, health and vitality network, education and enrichment network, spiritual network and social and community network. 

As you enter adulthood, you progress through milestones considered to be markers of maturity: leaving home, finishing school, becoming financially independent, finding a mate, and having a child. As you do, you mature into three additional networks I call coming-of-age networks. Coming-of-age networks do not replace your birthright networks; they build upon them. They include a career network, home and personal affairs network and ghost network. 

In ideal circumstances, the connections in your birthright networks—the first five—were wiser, smarter, more experienced and better resourced than you. They helped you learn, celebrated your successes, and delighted in your developmental milestones. They comforted you during stressful times and made harsh realities more tolerable. These birthright networks change as you grow up, but you never outgrow the need for what they provide. In ideal circumstances, the connections in your coming-of-age networks—the remaining three—help you find jobs, mates, homes, and advisers. They support you and help when you ask. They are wise mentors, give you good advice, and provide you with quality goods and services. They help you build a better life for yourself and for those people, causes, and ventures you care about.

If your early life was not ideal, however, your birthright networks may have failed to give you the support they were built to provide. Worse, they may have abused you, made learning difficult, downplayed your achievements, and harmed your physical and mental health. They may have limited your educational opportunities and isolated you from the social support you needed during stressful times, leaving you to cope alone. If your coming-of-age networks are not ideal, they can make your job difficult, sabotage your career, and harm your reputation. They can damage your finances, make homeownership a costly mistake, and leave you unprepared for retirement. If your circumstances were not—or are not—ideal—there are probably holes to fill, not just in your heart but also in your networks. Understanding networks will help you decide which resources can help you recover and get back on track. It may also help you see how amazingly strong and resilient you are to have reached this point in your life despite the obstacles in your way. 

Do you have big dreams? Are you trying to create financial security for your family? Are you destined to be a leader in your community or field? Do you have a big idea to benefit humanity? Are you building a legacy? This book shows you aren’t alone on your journey, whatever it may be. Others support you and you support others. As you read, you’ll become a NetworkSage, with wisdom to empower and transform you.