Now, let's find out how I ended up with the moniker "Crash West" by looking at some of the most memorable episodes of Lost in Space, starting with "The Reluctant Stowaway" and ending with "The Great Vegetable Rebellion." In addition to giving the storyline for each episode in regular print, my thoughts about each show are in bold print and Don West's thoughts and imaginary dialogue are italicized.
" The Reluctant Stowaway"
Our initial episode is "The Reluctant Stowaway." So, what is this show all about? This unique family will be the first in space, the first to reach beyond the outer limits, and the first to colonize the entire universe. The trip will take ninety-eight earth years, and the crew will be in suspended animation for that time. Hey, that sounds pretty cool. But, what the hell is suspended animation? Ninety-eight years? That's a long time to go without any hoochie-coochie, not to mention spaghetti and meatballs. Don, suspended animation means the crew will be frozen for five and one-half years in space, which is equal to ninety-eight earth years. And what's this about colonization? Wait at minute here. Did Alpha Control commit to this? Is that what they're expecting? And who is going to do this? John Robinson isn't going to have any more children, and his only son, Will, didn't take a girlfriend along so who the heck does that leave? Me! That's who. I should pursue getting to know the oldest daughter better. She's real pretty, but have I been set up? I could use some good old fashioned companionship but, like they say, there are a lot of fish in the ocean. Except, to me, it looks like I'm in a rowboat on the Dead Sea with a family who has the only age appropriate female in sight.
After the ship named the Jupiter 2 goes off course because of the added weight of a covert foreign agent named Colonel Smith, the ship is hit by a slew of meteors. What a waste of tinfoil. Couldn't Irwin Allen afford any real meteors? While in suspended animation, Don West is motionless. I'm having this fantastic dream about my relationship with Judy Robinson, but I keep hearing these smashing sounds. I must be having a nightmare in this freezing tube, or the ship is in trouble and I can't move a muscle to do anything about it.
To be continued .......