One Woman’s Cry Is Another Woman’s Answer
From Pain to Purpose
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I remember growing up in a small southern town in Louisiana. My mother was single at this time of my life. I was born in a shack, defined as a shotgun house. I would think sometimes of Jesus being borne in a manger and I can see Him winking at me as I smile back in love. My mother gave birth to me alone which I almost died. I finally made it to the hospital in time. I was born with what they called a veil over my face. In which you are supposed to be able to see into the future or spirits, that is what I was told growing up. My Grandmother full of peace and God's love said it's a gift from God and to be used for God and Him only. I would always share my visions with her and she would always comfort me and make me feel much better and the fear would vanished. God used her a lot in my life. I would dream dreams or see things and it would come to pass or appeal real. Hello to my sweet beginnings, right? So, therefore I always felt a little different and out of place with just about everything. I felt I didn’t fit in a lot, but could sure get in where I fit in and be just fine. I could always make it work. It took some adjustments on my part. So all my life I felt I’ve been adjusting and adjusted enough until I completely shifted into a reality that I wasn’t quite ready for yet. Something happened in that shift. I felt I was making everyone happy but myself. Therefore, I became difficult to understand. Misunderstood often was part of my DNA. Hidden anger and private pain stemmed from these issues. Sometimes the hidden anger would get the best of me. It would come oozing out at the wrong times. Very seldom it separated me more as I was still being singled out for household jobs no one wanted to do or couldn’t do. I took on a false responsibility to help and keep peace at almost any cost. I became the rescuer and a lot more. In which caused me to develop many skills that became helpful down the road. I am now multitalented, creative and enjoy working with people. Although I still continue functioning through much pain and rejection from the outside world. Being picked over because of the color of my skin. People can be cruel when your pigmented shade isn’t up for grabs. How sad is that for a young child to encounter and live out. Left behind by outsiders not of my blood type was real for me. We were taught in our house to love each other no matter what goes on out there. My beautiful cat eyes gorgeous sister is bi-racial and she loves me to pieces, even this day and I truly love her. She calls me her “Miss Ebony” The fashion queen. We have always been close as a child. Because of the differences in our skin color the people chose her. I got left home a lot. It always saddened her for me to be left behind. This is where I like for you to visualize the scene in “Color Purple,”where Nettie and Her sister Celie was being torn apart from each other and when they separated from all the pulling they expressed their love in a distance with a “Patty Cake” rhyme to each other. Yes I remember something so close to that scene with my sister. I teared up watching that part of the movie. It’s like a part of my memory came back. I would sometime beg my sister to go and not miss out on a great opportunities to have fun and see new things. Every once in awhile I could come with them but I always felt very uncomfortable like the outsider. The other people around would notice the difference and I would feel bad for the person treating me like that and I would try to straighten up as much as I could to not look like what they knew were going on. My sister wasn't that flattered by being treated special. I knew sometimes she would make sure it I was included when left out and very obvious that I was being neglected on purpose. Then she would play with only me at that time until the adult would say something and we would interact for a short time. It was too much to keep up with so I would purposely tell myself I don't want to go and deal with the added buried wounds of rejection without knowing in all clarity, that is what I were dealing with. Yes, very sad and more false responsibility to stuff. Clearly my mother was not teaching this in our home. We had to get along and agree to disagree.
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Deep Calls Too Deep
Over the years, I’ve always felt I had a great relationship with the Lord. I was told I was a gifted child. I would hear things or see people that weren’t there. My grandmother Letha Mae would tell me that it was a gift from God, that he would one day use me to HELP (healing everything life presents) people. Yes, what a life to live! For that reason, I stayed close to God as I could. I lived in much fear and silence in an upside-down world that never stopped turning. The tears I shed and the rejection I witnessed became my personal testimony.
I felt I needed to keep this a secret. In order to do so, I talked less. I would dream, and the next day, I would be walking into my dream. They sometimes dictated my day. As a child, I’ve always wanted to just grow up, live my life, get married, and have children with God being the center. I’m living in a world they say is normal, which seems to take me on a different path in life.
The comfort I find in God is that he loves me and he cares for me and I’m always on his mind. His favor follows me, and I can’t do anything about it. So I choose to love him back. Knowing that he knew me before I was in my mother’s womb is amazing to me. The safety of his love takes my fears away as I crawl upon his lap and let him be my God.
What I want you to see in my writings is that no matter what you’ve gone through or where you’ve been, he can’t help but love you. We are to serve and walk in love. It’s notes all the time, but it gets easier with the Lord’s help. It is a learned behavior to choose and do it!
I remembered hearing people call out for help. Yet when I looked around, everyone would appear to be very happy. I believe then God was guiding me in a path of faith. Deliverance and healing I’m experiencing now in ministry. The biggest challenge is to hear someone calling for HELP and not finding the voice that carries such pain.
I fasted and prayed to God for an answer for what to do with what I’m hearing. The answer I got was to challenge it by praying and looking for a person. I did, and when I located who that person might have been, she tried to deny it until I sincerely, with oozing love, asked her again, “How are you really doing?” Then at that point, she burst into uncontrollable tears that I knew as a human being I couldn’t handle within myself. God led me every step of what to do, and from then on, I can’t help myself.
Ladies, in this book alone, we choose to share our stories. What is your story? Remember, “one woman’s cry is another woman’s cry.” You must choose to be loved. Forgive them that wounded you. Win by losing.
“And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever lose his life shall for my sake shall save it” (Luke 9:23–24, KJV).
About the Author
Rosemary is a woman after God’s own heart who is gifted and inspired by God to encourage and speak life into the lives of many. She is a God-chosen handmaiden who moves fluently in the prophetic ministry. Being groomed in her early days in Seattle, Washington, Rosemary gifting challenge the God in you to arise, giving you hope with the ability to trust God while executing your purpose and dreams. Rosemary has been married to Arthur Green for more than thirty-nine years. Healed of cancer and was told she would never have children of her own, but God blessed them with three children and one loving stepson whom they love dearly. They moved to Dallas for such a time as this. Through it all, Arthur and Rosemary are grateful to the Lord for His love He has given to their family.