The Earth Baseball Tourney: An Invitational to Disaster

Crack of the bat. Costa Rica’s shortstop fouled off another. Bottom of the 9th; one away. The tiny Cambodian pitcher peered in to the catcher for the sign. But she knew what the next pitch would be. She knew, the batter knew, 58,000 fans in Singapore’s Stadium Solaria knew, and most of the 5.2 billion viewers and listeners around the planet knew. Chhom Teuk would throw her knuckleball. The same knuckleball that propelled her Cinderella team to this dramatic championship bout. The same knuckler that baffled foes throughout the Earth Baseball Tourney, including all 27 batters in her perfecto against Fiji. The same odd pitch that was about to make her the best-known Cambodian in history. Casually perched on the mound, Chhom Teuk was the picture of poise, Zen nonchalance in cleats. No stranger to the spotlight, she was the waifish darling of the Summer Olympics. Winning the gold in Badminton, she charmed the world with her wicked serves, shaved head and easy smile. She came home a celebrity, playing badminton daily along the busy riverfront. She made a decent living from a racquet endorsement deal but missed the competitive life. When Cambodia was invited to play in the inaugural Earth Baseball Tourney, Chhom was determined to make the team. A natural athlete, her strong wrists and long fingers enabled her to master the knuckleball. She set up a backstop made of fishnet in a dusty park overlooking the river and practiced the hard-to-control, harder-to-hit pitch. She studied video of Tim Wakefield (who she had a crush on). She taught herself how to throw with no spin; like a badminton grip, with a little wrist-flick at the end to give the projectile personality. Maz Nishi, a translator at the Japanese Embassy, had his old catcher’s mitt shipped via diplomat pouch from Yakult, where he once sipped a cup of tea with the Swallows. Hearing of a phenom on the Phnom Penh, Nishi strolled by and invited the pixyish woman to play some catch. He helped her adjust speeds on her lovely knuckler. In the shadows of Cambodia’s gilded Royal Palace, Chhom Teuk learned to throw shadows. Resembling a butterfly on meth, each of her pitches was a tiny work of art, a 4-D sculpture, a delight. She invented the “Khmer knuckle-scroogie” which mocked laws of physics and decency. The ball would suspend itself in mid-air, taunt the batter then rush in. Chhom’s quick grasp of baseball fundamentals made her an easy choice when the Cambodian national team was assembled. Among the few female starters in the 16-team Invitational, she was on the verge of becoming the Tourney’s first MVP. Now, in the final inning of the final game, Cambodia led Costa Rica 1-0. When the name of the next batter was announced - shortstop Pío Lyra - five billion people carefully wrote down his name: “Pío Lyra” in Urdu, Yoruba, Aleut. Minutes earlier, the world had jotted the name of the previous batter - Bert Rocha - who was now forgotten. In 24 time zones around our orb, people crammed into kitchens, internet cafes and bars to witness this. All carefully recording the name of the batter and score, waiting for that life-altering phone call, email or text, all playing the biggest lottery in history. The Earth Baseball Tourney finale was now the most-watched event in history, outpacing the World Cup. In fact, 89 percent of all humans were tuned in, the largest market share since MASH. The Internet was experiencing unprecedented traffic. Sports wagering was never more intense. Any human who was awake, stopped what they were doing. Lyra got the sign: drag bunt down 1st. The only way to get on base with this crazy bald lady, he thought. Bunt on, then Mesa smacks one out. After toeing around the chalky dirt, Lyra dug into the batter’s box, fixing his gaze on Teuk’s hypnotic stare. Two unlikely heroes on the global stage during a group moment unlike any humanity had ever experienced. Crowd on its feet, howling. Pío glimpsed a flickering outside the stadium as the neon skyline of Singapore rippled into darkness, a black velvet curtain gingerly drawn on the shimmering island metropolis. Chhom Teuk gripped her knuckler.